Various animal jokes Jokes Funny Various animal jokes Jokes

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A fish walks into a bar the from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".

Look over there Said the frightened skunk from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal. "There's a human with a gun, and he's getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?" To which the second skink calmly replied, "Let us spray ."

A man moved to a mountain top from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said "it is quite cold out here can I come in?" the man shouted "NO why don't you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain. One year later there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

A lion was getting rather old and from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey. It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away. So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit. It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise. On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock. One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!" The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?" The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?" The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".

This little snail bought a little car from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little S's painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"

One day there was a tortoise walking from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!

Q What did the snail say when from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee!!!!!

One day Mullah was beating his donkey from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?

Mama bear to Papa bearWell You might from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating -- I call it 'goofing off'."

A hungry lion was roaming through the from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.

Exasperated dragon on the field of battleMother from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."

What do you give a deer with from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.

Turtle to turtle Dont ya just love from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"

Why dont lobsters shareTheyre shellfish Various animal from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Why don't lobsters share? They're shellfish.

Q What did the emu say to from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

Q Why did Mrs Smokey the Bear from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot, he'd beat her with a shovel!

What are the most athletic rodentsTrack and from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.

What would you get if you crossed from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother? For smoking in bed.

What purrs along the road and leaves from Flashcomment Various animal jokes Jokes
What purrs along the road and leaves holes in the lawn? A Moles Royce.